Self-Harm
Psychologists | Speech Language Pathologists | Occupational Therapists | Exercise Physiologists | Therapy Assistants
Psychologists | Speech Language Pathologists | Occupational Therapists | Exercise Physiologists | Therapy Assistants |
Understanding self-harm in young people
Discovering that a child or teenager is hurting themselves is one of the most frightening experiences a parent or caregiver can go through. If this is happening in your family, please know that you're not alone and that with the right support, things can get better.
Self-harm is most often a way of coping with intense emotional pain, a way of managing feelings that have become overwhelming, or of feeling something when everything else feels numb. It's not attention-seeking, and it's not about wanting to end one's life — though it does need to be taken seriously and supported compassionately.
At Spectrum Therapy Australia, we provide a safe, non-judgmental space for young people who are struggling. Our goal is never to shame or punish. The goal is to understand what's driving the behaviour and help young people find other ways to cope with what they're feeling.
- Self-harm can take many forms. It's most commonly associated with cutting, but may also include burning, hitting, scratching, or other ways of deliberately causing physical pain or injury. Signs that a young person may be self-harming include:
- Unexplained cuts, bruises, or burns — often on the arms, thighs, or stomach
- Wearing long sleeves or clothing to cover the body, even in warm weather
- Withdrawal from family and friends
- Significant emotional distress, mood swings, or difficulty regulating emotions
- Finding sharp objects in unusual places
- Spending long periods of time alone, particularly in the bathroom
What might self-harm look like?
What's behind it?
- Depression or low mood
- Anxiety, particularly when it feels out of control
- Trauma or difficult past experiences
- Bullying, social isolation, or relationship difficulties
- Identity-related stress, including for LGBTQIA+ young people
- Neurodivergent experiences, including sensory differences or emotional dysregulation
How can psychology help?
- Creating a safe, trusting therapeutic relationship where your child feels understood
- Understanding the function self-harm is serving and what it's communicating
- Building a toolkit of alternative strategies for managing intense emotions
- Addressing underlying anxiety, depression, trauma, or other contributing factors
- Safety planning — developing a personalised plan for moments of crisis
- Parent guidance — supporting families to respond in ways that help, not harm
- Collaboration with GPs, psychiatrists, or school counsellors where appropriate
The severity of self-harm is not measured by physical injury alone. Any self-harm is a sign that a young person is experiencing significant emotional distress and that distress deserves to be taken seriously regardless of how the behaviour presents. Early, supportive assessment can help identify what's happening beneath the surface and what kind of support would be most helpful.
Research consistently shows that talking openly about self-harm does not increase the behaviour, and that having a trusted adult to talk to is one of the most protective factors. If you're worried about your child, opening a gentle, non-judgmental conversation is a positive step.
"It's not serious if they're not in physical danger."
FACT
FACT
Myth
"Talking about it will make it worse."
Myth
Self-harm is almost never about seeking attention. Most young people who self-harm are deeply ashamed and go to great lengths to hide it. The behaviour is typically a private coping mechanism for pain that feels unbearable. Responding with compassion rather than anger or dismissal is essential.
FACT
"They're just doing it for attention."
Myth
Myths and facts about self-harm
Try to stay calm, and respond with warmth rather than panic or anger. Your child needs to feel safe and not judged. Let them know you love them and you want to understand. Then seek professional support as soon as possible. You don't have to navigate this alone.
What do I do if I find out my child is self-harming?
This is really common. Starting with parent sessions can be very helpful and often, once young people understand that therapy is a safe, non-judgmental space, they become more open to attending. We'll work with you to find an approach that feels right.
Is self-harm the same as suicidal behaviour?
What if my child refuses to come to therapy?
Not always. Most self-harm is not about wanting to end one's life. However, self-harm is a sign of significant distress and should always be taken seriously. A psychologist can assess the level of risk and ensure your child has the right level of support.
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